Saturday, 6 August 2016

Someone else's horse

I can't deny that summer has been conspicuously absent since the great heatwave of 19 July. And I have to confess that writing, be it book, blog or just about anything else, has been difficult of late. Sometimes the words just won't come. But today summer came back and a little bit of my mojo came with it.

The internet is a joy and a devil. The joy is knowledge at your finger tips (we call the laptop "the big answer box" for a very good reason and it's a vital tool when you live with and love someone for whom every other sentence is a question). The joy is a window on the world of far away friends. The joy is meeting new like-minded friends whose paths you might not otherwise have crossed. The devil is the myriad dark ways in which people are led astray. For me, the devil takes the form of brilliant blogs, inspiring smallholders, boundless creativity, people doing more, doing it better, being who I think I might want to be. Viewed through the lens of this skewed insight into the lives of others, the grass is always greener on the other side, not just more green but more lush, more nutritious, more grassy, more more. I know that way madness lies. I know that I perpetuate this madness with every digitally remastered Tweet and every filtered Instagram photo that I post. Yet it still halts my pen, causes my fingers to pause then refrain from typing. A wiser person than I (or is it "than me", I agonise over grammar for fear of causing upset and disdain), a person who happens to be one of those new like-minded social media made flesh friends, once said:

It’s not possible to do everything, it isn’t even easy to try to do most (things).
But always, doing something is better than doing nothing.
Trying is better than not trying.

He said this to another wiser person whose blog about "scrunched up insides" struck a chord, resonated, put into words the niggling feeling bugging me as another day passed without a word written. So .... *deep breath* .... inspired by Jen, I am getting back on my own particular horse. Who knows where that nag will take me!

Today I went for a wander. This was no aimless wander. This wander had a purpose. The purpose was to remind myself that the grass is green on my side too. In this dark and twisty world I have much to be thankful for and today I say to no one in particular "thank you".



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